Many parents teach their children to believe some fundamental things. I can’t quite write that all parents do so; some parents don’t give much thought to what their children believe, and others try hard to avoid telling their children what to believe. But conscious instruction is not the only way to influence children’s thinking, so…
No matter how deeply we adults respect children – no matter how seriously we take their words and thoughts – many of us can’t help thinking of them as cute. Some of their cuteness stays with them into adulthood, but some of it is a function of their newness. Their failed attempts to pronounce certain…
As a teacher, parent, and lover of children, I sometimes feel as if there is a secret contest going on. Teachers, parents, and other people who love children want to be unique, as I do – want to believe that they and only they REALLY understand and care about children, and that everyone else is…
Ivan Illich wrote a book called “Deschooling Society,” and while society doesn’t seem likely to be deschooled in the way Illich meant, we do seem to be gradually cutting funding for schools. Proposition Thirteen in California, Proposition Two-and-a-Half in Massachusetts, and similar moves around the country are gradually doing away with important aspects of school…
From about 1971 to about1981, most of my friends were children. I was bothered by many adults I knew, and I delighted in being able to spend most of my time with children. Having recently become an adult myself, I saw the world of adults as one in which you had to be fake, pretending…
We all know and/or are adults who have lots of trouble reading maps. Of course, there are many maps that are incorrect, but there are also correct maps that are unfairly blamed for people getting lost or ending up taking longer to get where they’re going. I am fascinated by maps. I ask for window…
A typical strategem for adults who want children to do certain things they’d rather not do is to remind children of something better that awaits them if they just finish doing the less pleasant thing: “There’s a great dessert waiting for you, and you can have it as soon as you finish eating your vegetables.”…
No matter how many times you read Good Night, Moon to your child, there aren’t going to be any surprises. The same characters and inanimate objects are going to be there, and with the exception of the cow jumping over the moon, they aren’t going to do much. All they do is stay in the…
Years ago, I heard my three year old upstairs neighbor crying. He had gotten hurt outside. My wife and I heard his father say to him, “Be brave, Jimmy.” It seemed like such a strange thing to say in such a situation. The kid had gotten hurt. To us, bravery had nothing to do with…
Divorce is complicated, even when there are no children involved. It usually brings up issues that didn’t have to be addressed before. But when there are children involved, there are added complications. One of them is some children’s tendency to use parents’ disagreements. Even when Mom and Dad are effectively married (to me, the term…